Part. 3 Apologizing Effectively
1. Offer a meaningful apology
A meaningful apology communicates that you are sorry, that you accept responsibility and that you want to do something to make it better.
This is also known as the 3 R’s–Regret, Responsibility, and Remedy. You need to express all 3 elements for your apology to be meaningful and effective.
Know that you are apologizing only for your actions not for who you are. When you realize this, making the apology becomes easier.
2. Say “I am sorry.”
A statement of regret for having caused the hurt or damage can serve to disarm someone who is angry and let the other person know that you care.
Be honest and genuine when you offer an expression of empathy toward the person, and allow your remorse and sincerity show on your face.
Remember that letting the other person know you are sorry proves that you are capable of recognizing your error and strong enough to admit it.
Even if you did not intend to hurt the other person, show him or her that you recognize something you did or didn’t do contributed to the person’s hurt or difficulty and makes you feel bad.
You might say: “I am so sorry. I know I hurt your feelings and I feel bad for it.” Another idea is something like, “I regret hurting you. I’m sorry,” or, “I’m truly sorry for any pain or inconvenience I may have caused you.”
3. Acknowledge what you did
Don’t get defensive, try to explain yourself or use “buts”. You already let the person know you are sorry, now you need to tell them what you’re sorry about in a clear, respectful and direct way.
Admit where you messed up, and accept responsibility for the consequences of your actions.
People in the Taurus sign are straight-forward and frank. They will appreciate you accepting your mistake.
Even if there are valid reasons for why you did what you did, remember that these are not excuses that justify the consequences.
Examples of statements that show responsibility, include: “I realize that by being late I caused you to worry about me and lose out on some of our time together,” or, “I know it’s hard for you to trust anyone, and my lying to you has only reinforced your inability to trust.
There is no excuse for what I did. I shouldn’t have lied at all,” or, “I understand why you are angry. I shouldn’t have said that to you. I know it hurt you.”
4. Tell the person what action you intend to take
Make a statement showing your willingness to try to remedy the problem. This may be a promise that you won’t (or will try not to) do it again or a statement that explains what you are going to do to make it better—such as pay for damages or go to therapy.
You both understand that you can’t undo what was done no matter how much you wish you could, but you can still help repair the damage.
Examples include: “Let me make it up to you by paying for dinner next time,” or “I’ll let you know next time when your jealousy is making me upset instead of holding it in until I explode like that,” or “I’m starting therapy tomorrow to try and understand why I am acting this way.”
5. Check your attitude.
How you feel about having to make an apology and what you want out of the apology will be communicated nonverbally.
Make sure that your apology stems from a desire to reconnect, let the person know you are sorry and that you want to do something about what happened.
Otherwise, your apology will not feel genuine and may seem manipulative, which makes it very unlikely to be accepted.
Don’t apologize just because someone else tells you, because it is expected in the situation or because it will get you what you want.
Accept others’ apologies as well. If you want people to accept when you are sorry, then do the same. If the other person apologizes to you sincerely, be gracious with your response. Thank them for trying to make things better.
6. Acknowledge that it’s too difficult for you to apologize
If you just can’t come up with or give an adequate apology, then at least admit your inability to do so.
If you know an apology would probably help but can’t follow through at the moment, tell the person something like, “I’m really mad right now.
I know an apology would help but I’m not ready for that yet.” A Taurus may recognize that kind of stubbornness in themselves as well and appreciate your honesty.
7. Take action
You can try to soften your Taurus by giving him or her something special, such as a home-cooked meal or a sentimental object that reminds the person of how you connected in the first place.
Appeal to the loyalty that Taurus feels towards partners, friends and family as well as their love of material and luxury items.
Always follow through with your promises to remedy the situation. If you said, for example, you’d go to therapy, then be sure to go.
- If your Taurus is female, get some flowers or chocolates (if she likes them). Add a message like “Dear Pooja, I’m very sorry I acted like that the other day. I hope you forgive me. Yours, Pragathi.
- If your Taurus is male, get something he wanted badly, such as a new phone case or facial hair trimmer. Gift it to him yourself, and apologize. You may also try giving him a funny sorry postcard.
In case you missed part 1 and part 2, you can find it here:
/Based On Materials From: wikihow.com