Aries: ALL Aries are indignant and loud sons of bitches. They will hit you should you don’t like their favourite coloration. Every Aries is ½ Chris Brown and ½ The Hulk.

Taurus: Are well-known for being fairly and boring. They gotta fats ass however no brains. Every Taurus is a Kardashian.

Gemini: Will con you into something. They will steal your Jordan’s after which promote them proper again to you. Every Arab that sells faux Michael Kors is a Gemini.

Cancer: Has no actual expertise apart from sandwich making. Every single considered one of them owns fourteen aprons. They are born and die within the kitchen.

Leo: Has no buddies as a result of they spend most of their time within the mirror.

Virgo: No Virgo within the historical past of the world has EVER belched. True reality.

Libra: Most Libra’s develop as much as be musicians and experiment with heroin and different fucked up shit. Their lives are a unending line of cocaine.

Scorpio: No Scorpio is aware of the that means of forgiveness. They nonetheless discuss shit about their third grade instructor who gave them a C- on a homework project as soon as.

Sagittarius: Is the wanderer of the zodiac. This is only a good manner of claiming they’re homeless. You’re forty-eight, Ian. Get a job.

Capricorn: There is not any such factor as a Capricorn with good intentions. They are the kind to maintain AND USE voodoo dolls.

Aquarius: No Aquarius was born on this planet. They are all adopted. Most Aquarians like astronomy as a result of they’ve been to all these locations. If you need to know what the meals is like on Saturn, ask an Aquarius.

Pisces: Spend each weekend sitting inside a tub with a bottle of scotch crying concerning the one which received away.

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