(March 21st to April 19th)

You have a list of errands to run in a short amount of time. You keep hitting every red light. Every store you to has a long line. Every person you have run into you hate. And you’ve already been pulled over twice for speeding.


(April 20th to May 21st)

You’re on stage about to give a speech and you throw up in front of everyone then trip.


(May 22nd to June 21st)

You keep trying to get fired at work but they continue to promote you.


(June 22nd to July 22nd)

You are trapped at a family party you aren’t allowed to leave.


(July 23rd to August 22nd)

Your love interest keeps sending flowers to your office even though you want the relationship to be low key AF and you’re not sure if you even like the guy.


(August 23rd to September 22nd)

You end up working a 9-5 desk job you hate and you have to wear dress-pants every day.


(September 23rd to October 22nd)

Your cell phones dies and no one has a charger, nor do chargers for your phone exist anymore.


(October 23rd to November 22nd)

You end up in a relationship with someone who openly weeps every time an abusive animal commercial comes on.


(November 23rd to December 21st)

Your roommate is a slob who has attracted mice she thinks are cute.


(December 22nd to January 20th)

Every ex-girlfriend you’ve ever had becomes best friends with your current girlfriend.


(January 21st to February 18th)

Your ex-ends up with your best friend and they ask you to be in the wedding.


(February 19th to March 20th)

You find yourself alone at a party where you know everyone hates you but you aren’t allowed to leave. Instead, you have to stand there and listen without crying to every reason why.

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